I spent a wonderful weekend with a niece of mine. We made some crafts, we talked, we read, we shopped. It was while shopping I realized exactly how fat skinny seemed to me now.
My niece tried on the same size clothes that I wore when I was her age. But I don't consider her to be a big girl, certainly nowhere near as big as I was. When I look back at my favorite pictures from high school I think "Wow. I was actually pretty then." But that is not how I felt in high school. I was the fattest of the fat. Nobody could love me because I was a gigantic blob. A lot like how I feel about myself now.
I also look at people larger than me and think "I'll never let myself get THAT big!" But I have. My tolerance for fat has grown just as much as my weight. If not more. Because now I realize I could get that fat!
The point is this: Nobody wants to be fat. Even if you are fat, you never think you will let yourself get fatter. And then when you do, you amend your definition of fat. So the "last straw", the one that pushes you to diet is always the next one.
I love you Karla, you are beautiful inside and out! I feel the same way about myself, thanks for being so open and honest!
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